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Reaching a milestone – the cons and pros

June 27, 2012

“Me and my new graduation hat”

I get very sentimental these days, because this Monday I reached a milestone. I graduated Danish Gymnasium which is the equivalent of US college (a preparation for further education).

To me, it wasn’t that hard. I had it easy, compared to others, I always talked in class, didn’t care if chatting with teachers made me unpopular

But now I stand here, and I’m wearing my beautiful red and white hat and I feel so alone.

There’s no money for me, coming from the government, there’s no one waiting for me every morning, telling me about famous artists, authors, scientists, talking intensely about Freud or Mahler or that one weird scientist with all the white hair.

I have to be serious now, I have to do things on my own, I have to go find a job.

My decision was to take a year off and earn money. I’m not so sure anymore, but I know that I have people there to grab me when I fall.

But I also know that I don’t want to fall. I want to stand on my own, walk on my own.

I am not a baby any more.

And that’s what’s so weird about reaching these dates, these milestones.

  1. You feel so utterly free
  2. You feel so horribly caged – no one is there to help you
  3. You are on your own

And that’s what frightens me the most.
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